by Lewis Garland, loose-fitting-outer-garment-for-freelance-musicians expert
As a self-employed musician, you probably work from home a lot. Be honest, do you often stay in your pyjamas the entire day? How is that working for your motivation level? Feeling flabby in your nightie?
Studies have shown that wearing a robe past 10 AM every day for an extended period of time can lead to depression.
You’ve probably seen those blog posts that tell you to get dressed and wear high heels and makeup to give you confidence and then boom, you’re a boss and next thing you know, you write an article titled “How I made my first 10k blogging from home”.
But other studies have also determined that 98% of clothes are ridiculously uncomfortable. That’s why you need to develop a strategy to be able to wear what experts call “soft clothing”, and still win at life.
Say no to PJs
All freelance musicians who consulted me for garment issues came to two contradictory conclusions. Firstly, there’s no need to get dressed, and secondly, you can’t stay in your sleepwear all day. Indeed, the long-term effects on your self-esteem could be catastrophic. You might as well wear purple cotton leggings with crocs and a Mickey Mouse t-shirt to the grocery store while you’re at it.
What if I told you that you can trick your mind into thinking you’re getting ready for the day? I’m suggesting that you get out of your pyjamas and go straight into another set of pyjamas. But a fresh pair.
Go big and stay home
As a loose-fitting-outer-garment-for-freelance-musicians expert, I’d say oversized clothes are the number one alternative to pyjamas. The thing is, they make you look like a hobo. To avoid that, one might be tempted to go for fancy fabric such as silk, but then we’re back to that pyjamas look. The easy solution really, is to become a rapper. Let oversized clothing become your uniform.
If you’re not into hip hop, you can reach for fashionable, oversized designer clothes, but make sure you can count that in your business expenses. And be aware that there’s a 87% chance you will still look silly.
The idea here is to use a device to distract the eye from your bad outfit. Nothing screams “boss” like the combination of an old, faded onesie and a full-face glittery makeup.
You know how, for some reason, some people have this permanent out-of-bed look? And not in the cool way. I’m talking about how certain people, no matter how hard they try to dress like functioning adults, always seem to display unkempt hair, wrinkled shirts and mismatched socks. I, for one, have this I-just-quit-smoking-crack look to my face. Nothing I can do about it, it’s just how god made me. So whenever I dress a bit too casual, I automatically look like I woke up from a coma two seconds ago. Therefore, I have to overcompensate with something that says “don’t let my outfit fool you, I’m playing an active role in society”.
So, if like me, you’re not one of those lucky folks that look slick even in track pants and a mustard-stained wife-beater, you need to start wearing a watch or a fedora (don’t actually) or something. Accessories, jewelry, makeup, hairdo, perfume, anything that you wouldn’t wear to bed. I personally prefer jewelry, as it requires the least amount of effort. Hell, I’m not even willing to flat iron my hair for a wedding, let alone to practice some pentatonic scales at home.
Finally, if you wear glasses, lucky you. At least your face is dressed for success.
Remember: the goal is to fool yourself (and your pets) into thinking you’ve got your shit together.
If you’re gonna sit all day in your home studio, the bottom half of your outfit is the most problematic for comfort, so lose it. Dress half-nice, half-sweatpants. That way if you have to answer the door, you just look like you have extra swag today.
Expert tip: when you hear the doorbell, grab a smoothie and pretend you have yoga class.
Or, you could save all the comfort for the top half and try to pull off the “sexy pants with a loose t-shirt” look. But the problem is, non-skinny jeans don’t exist in stores anymore. And, well I’ll just say it: fuck skinny jeans, they’re too tight, even if you’re actually skinny. It’s impossible to enjoy life in a pair of skinny jeans.
Expert tip: replace skinny jeans with sporty-colored leggings. Activewear is comfortable and makes you think you’re not a slacker.
The brassière issue
Free the nipples? Get a hold of yourself, lady, this isn’t spring break, you’re at work.
Just kidding, but, an unreliable source once told me that boobs will stretch down to sea level much quicker if you don’t offer them daily support. Thank god for bralettes and sport tops is all I have to say.
Expert tip: if you feel like the day hasn’t started until you put on a bra, but still don’t want to wear one, replace the physical support with mental support: drink more coffee.
Let’s see. Slippers make you walk like you’re 15 years old and don’t want to do homework. Obviously crocs are a big no-no, you’re not a gardener for Christ’s sake. So that leaves us with zero comfy footwear options. Just stay barefoot or wear socks.
But no thin brown socks, have some self-respect.
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