Drummer Ruins Gig by Not Putting Wallet on Snare

drummer ruins gig by not puttin wallet on snare

By Dominic Ireland | February 9, 2019

Norwegian Trance Metal band “Cold Time Worship” drummer Nicole Speck has been credited with ruining her bands entire gig Monday night after not muting her snare by placing her wallet on it. In what many consider a “you had one job” scenario, her bandmates are re-negotiating her contract.

“This fiasco has lost us any further exposure at this venue, and that’s all we had going for us at this point. The wallet trick is the oldest in the book and she could have pulled it out and put it down on her kit at any point in the set. What did she do? She continued to play that snare at full blast the entire show. So unprofessional. What are we supposed to do now, buy a professional snare mute? As if! I’ve been eating ramen for three months since my welfare ran out.” Says lead singer Bryan “Dongle” Brickerson.

While Nicole’s error was major, there is the significant reassurance of job security as she is a drummer. This will give her quite a playing card in negotiations moving forward. Drummers are few and far between, especially in the metal world.

“Nicole’s a bit of a noob sometimes, but there’s no way we’re going to let her go. Do you know how hard it is to find a drummer? It took us four years to finally convince her to join our band. Before her we just used an old drum machine from the 1980’s we found when Dongle moved into his Dad’s garage and when that didn’t work we had to use recordings from Pantera, I repeat, Pantera.” Says bassist Rick Stringfield.

“Yeah. Nicole’s good…” is all guitarist for CTW had to say (seriously, wouldn’t even give us his name).

The only other concern raised about last night’s gig is by the owner of the dive where CTW was playing. He had a passing concern about the quality of his acoustics now that CTW has been banned from his location.

“Of course I had to ban them.” Says local dive owner, Tammy “The Hammer” Tammer “I have a reputation to uphold as the crappiest venue in Denver, Lugbit’s Bar and Grill rides on three things: We have no actual bar, no grill, and our sound system has been blown out since 1973. Nicole fixed it by playing her snare at full volume last night. Seriously, the tone and quality has never been better, how are we supposed to function as a dive if our speakers actually work how they’re supposed to? She’s ruined us! RUINED US, I SAY!!! I’m riding on my savings from my career in pro wrestling. My degree from Julliard failed to land me any roles in the local theater companies and all I have now is this dumb bar. Sure I might be half blind from manufacturing my own liquor, but this is the life, and Nicole might very well have ruined that.”

Tammy was able to mess up her speakers again after a few rounds of using them as the back room dart board and we are happy to report Ligbit’s is still as crappy a road-house as ever.

“I still think we can do better than Nicole,” Dongle insisted after negotiations were concluded. “We didn’t change anything in the agreement, but as soon as we can find another drummer with a truck that’s big enough to cart all our gear to the gig, she is out… so, um what kind of car do you happen to drive?”

All’s well that ends well for Cold Time Worship. Or is it? Nicole’s role in the music scene appears to be secure for the foreseeable future. Ligbit’s sound system is still messed up, as it should be, but the desperation of Dongle doesn’t bode well for his role in the up-and-coming Trance Metal Band.

“We’re kinda starting to think of him as dead weight anyway” Says Stringfield. “Seriously, if he didn’t let us practice in his garage-bedroom, we would probably cut him loose.”

“Yeah. Dongle’s annoying…” Is all the guitarist would say (Seriously why am I still trying?)

Dongle is treading water. It seems next negotiation may very well have him removed from the band, rather than Nicole.

Nicole has declined comment on the situation in an attempt to remain neutral.

Stay tuned for upcoming developments.


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